The Quiet In The Storm

The house is quiet. The street is silent. The snow falls with a heavy vengeance.

I’m watching it through my window and can’t help but feel that I’m standing in a snow globe that someone has just picked up and shaken.

When I’m struggling I often withdraw. I like to shut myself off from the real world and social media. I’m not sure why, it just feels easier that way- the quiet in the storm. Riding the tide of emotion, waiting for the dust to settle.

But it’s different this time.

I’m not struggling at the moment. In fact I’ve felt really good for the last couple of weeks, better than I have for a while. I’ve made plans to get myself out and do the things that once provided me with so much joy before I lost interest in everything. I’m doing well in my studies, even if it has been full on for the past couple of weeks while I’ve been writing up my assignments. I’ve tried to focus on the positives and tried to change my way of thinking. I’m looking after myself. Yet I’ve been so withdrawn.

I haven’t been out and about as much as I should for the past few weeks, except to visit my grandparents. I haven’t been in contact with my friends as much as I should have. I haven’t been as active on social media. I haven’t wanted to sit down and write a blog post or poetry. A part of me feels like a ghost- here but invisible.

I know that I’m the one to blame and I know that I need to change it, yet I haven’t.

If I’m being honest I don’t know what all this means. I’m happy but there is a piece of me missing. Maybe I just need some time away from everything to focus on me. Or maybe it’s the introvert in me making an appearance.

Sometimes we need time on our own and focus on ourselves. I guess I’m just waiting for the snow to settle before I leave my globe.

Until next time

Karlena
xx

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