It’s Okay, not to be Okay


Welcome back to our cosy corner of the internet, a place where I like to spill out my thoughts and feelings to try and make sense of them. If this is your first time, welcome.  Hopefully we can all help each other in the process.

Too many people suffer in silence, too ashamed to reach out, like a bird with clipped wings who’s forgotten how to fly. Our minds can make us feel isolated and alone which isn’t helped with the added isolation from society. But our stories shouldn’t have to be kept a secret. I’m not saying that you should shout it at the top of your lungs but we shouldn’t feel embarrassed to talk and admit when we feel like we’re drowning. It’s okay not to feel okay, that doesn’t make us weak or any less of a person. As a society and community we need to hold out our hands to those that are struggling. We need to learn to stop being so hard on ourselves and realise when we need to care for ourselves.

We all fight our own battles and have days when the world seems to be against us. When everything seems to be going wrong and things start to pile up, one thing on top of another. It’s so easy to get lost in the ritual of life when minutes feel like hours and before you know it, another week has passed. Items on the to-do list are still not crossed off and the world keeps on spinning but you feel like you haven’t moved forward. It’s at these times when you feel alone and most vulnerable, suffocating under the weight of the world. Its days like these that we can forget to breathe and take care of ourselves.

But it’s at these times it’s really important to take care of ourselves. Our minds and souls are so precious, seeds that need care and nurturing so they can blossom. It can be so easy to break them but take what feels like a lifetime to heal them. Sometimes we need to be kind to ourselves and put less pressure on our shoulders. It’s important we realise when we’re struggling but also celebrate the small victories, focus on everything we have achieved and take time to rest. If you injure your leg, you wouldn’t run a marathon on it while it’s still healing. You would rest it. Our minds work in the same way.

For me, there is nothing better than reading in my garden

It’s okay to take a step back and realise that you need to focus on yourself. This isn’t giving up defeat or self-loathing, its healing. Some people may need to take longer than others, recovery isn’t a race or a competition. We are all different and unique in our own way, try not to compare yourself to other people. We all fight our own battles, regardless if you can’t see them. Some of us are good at painting on a smile, that doesn’t mean we’re not suffering. We all have our own minds and our own way of getting through life. Just because we struggle with something, it doesn’t mean we are inferior to anyone else. Our flaws don’t define us, they are the foundations for improvement.

Personally I think it takes a lot of strength and courage to acknowledge when you’re finding life difficult and taking time to focus on yourself. It’s so much easier to focus when your mind and body are recuperated. Everything becomes much clearer when you have taken that time to self-care.

Next time you feel like you can’t cope, just pause and breathe. Take five minutes to focus on your breathing and clear your mind. Go for a walk and get some fresh air. Watch your favourite movie or have a bath. Do what you enjoy but most importantly talk to someone (whether that be a family member or close friend), eat well and get a good night’s sleep. The people who really matter, will be the ones who stand by you through your highs and lows.

I know this seems obvious and I’m not saying that by taking time to focus on yourself or talking will solve all your problems, but it will help you to refocus. You are just as important and special as anyone else. You deserve to love and respect yourself. It isn’t selfish to focus on yourself from time to time, it’s called being human.

Until next time


Let me know some of the things you do to self-care in the comments.

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