A Familiar Stranger

Each morning in the cold light of the sun, a familiar stranger stares back at me. A person I recognise but know nothing about. An old acquaintance who I’ve lost touch with over the years.

I see this girl in the mirror everyday but yet I turn her away. I tell myself that it’s easier that way, to shut myself off from myself and everybody else. If I’m being honest though, I think I’m scared of seeing my true form or perhaps I’m scared of letting people in.

I try to reach out to her but we are separated by the glass that stands between us. As though we are trapped in two different worlds, cut off from each other.

It’s strange really, I’ve stood in front of this girl countless times and I never noticed before, the different coloured flecks in her eyes. Or the freckles that map her cheeks. When did this little girl become all grown up?

I feel like a fraud in my own skin. Ashamed that I’ve not once taken the time to connect with it. I’ve change so much over the years, both inside and out, yet day to day I haven’t noticed. It’s not until I pause and take a breath that the reality of time hits me.

We spend so much of our lives worrying about what other people think and making sure that they are happy, that we spend no time on ourselves. To the point I no longer recognise the person I share a name with. I can’t believe how much time I’ve wasted.

I always thought that she was the one who emerged in the silence. That she was the silence that deafened me. But the more I look at her in the mirror, the more I realise how wrong I was. I don’t see a person to fear or hate, I see someone who’s lost.

I can see the pain that she tries to hide behind her eyes. I can feel everything that she bottles up. I understand now that she is no enemy of mine. And if I am to take on the real demons, we need to work together. So instead of pushing her away, I need to embrace her.

I need to take the time to get to know myself. I know this won’t be easy, and I don’t how long it will take- we have so much time to catch up on. But if I am to find peace then I need to start with myself. I need to discover who I am, who this familiar stranger is that’s reflected in the mirror.

Until next time

Karlena
xx

Please remember to take the time to get to know yourself and don’t spend so much time trying to impress other people. Because people will come and go, and the only constant figure in your life is you. So please make sure you take the time to care for yourself.

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